Letter for Franco Mateo, the Brave

My dearest smart and handsome grandson,

How do you make sense of feelings and thoughts that are different from what others have? What do you see that we do not, with our ordinary naked eyes? Where do you get your drive, your gentleness, your anger, your frustration and your glee? What makes you happy or sad? 

I marvel at the things that excite you now, and bore you later. I am amazed at what you can remember and describe in your own language that I am too slow to grasp. I wish to slap myself for failing you each time.

I want to understand how you think and see the things around you. I want to soak in the bizarre, the weird, the absurd that you might find amusing or just as disgusting, just because you see the difference that I do not.

I pray to God that I be able to enter your little world before I die, so that I may be able to understand your feelings, analyze your thoughts or feel your frustrations in my limited understanding and simple human heart.

I wish to be able to hold your hand, whenever you want the touch of a familiar old, rough palm. I want to laugh with you always, and cry with you if it makes you feel better.

I wish to God that I be given a small dot of a space in your heart so that I can be with you, even when I am gone.

My heart is yours, my brave little warrior Franco! You go out there and conquer the world! I will always be your #1 fan and follower!

Love, 

Manita

Our Little Juan

He was a bedimpled, handsome angel, born in the Rabbit year of October 13, 2023. It was a world that was not entirely out of the strains of the pandemic, but beginning to adjust to new ways of doing things.

In the Chinese culture, the rabbit is a symbol of longevity, peace and prosperity. It is said that people born in this particular year tend to be quiet, kind, restrained and thoughtful. They can be highly sensitive and sentimental, and proceed with caution, bent to hesitate to the point of sometimes missing opportunities. Well, I can only hope and pray that our little water rabbit child will be glib and sociable enough to thrive, that he will be kind but courageous to face challenges, and that when he decides on something, he will do so to maximize opportunities or seize the moment!

Fast forward to a year and 4 months after Juan's 1st birthday....

Our little gwapo can now walk unaided, and reaches out to touch everything he sees. And if what he touches may be grabbed or plucked, he readily puts them in his mouth for a taste. His quick little hands need a lot of minding, while his still unstable gait needs some steady knees to run about.

Never a dull moment with him and his Kuya Franco. They are either best friends cuddling up and laughing their hearts out, our chasing after one another in the grass or trying to scratch each others' eyes out, punching, pulling hair and kicking just to land a painful blow. Boys!

Juan Zachary B. Amores is named after Don Juan Atega, a late 18th to early 19th century juez de primera and mayor of Butuan City, my great great grandfather and Juanito Amores, my late father in law.  

He bears the name of two men-- the latter is one that I got to know and love until the day he died, and the older one is someone whom I wish to know through the power of story.